Love; something we all need a little of.
First and foremost comes the ever elusive topic of Love.
Love is, literally, many things. Which is why relationships tend break apart so easily. Because Love is vague. To one person, Love can be shown as silent friendship between lovers. To another person, Love can be shown as passionate and spur-of-the-moment. To one person, Love can entitle a steady relationship. To another, Love can entitle hugs and kisses, but no real ties. To one person, Love is shown through flowers and material gifts. To another person, Love is shown through acts of kindness and sentimental phrases.
In short, Love is different for all people. You can't just go into a relationship and say "I Love You" and expect to get far. Because for one thing, you're probably moving a bit too fast. And for another, your definition of Love and the other person's definition of Love are probably two different things. Which will definitely lead to problems when you get to the "I thought you said you Loved me" fight.
So my advice would be, simply, to learn. Find out what Love is to you. Is it this? Or is that? Or do you even believe in Love? Is it just a word we humans use to express this undefinable emotion that flits through our figurative hearts? Or is it something you truly believe in? So find out what Love is to you. And find out what your significant other's Love means to him or her. That way, when you say. "I Love you" and the other person says, "I Love you, too." you know exactly what that means.
Secondly, are the "Rules".
I hear that word a lot when guys talk about themselves in a relationship. And the same goes for girls. There's a lot of "he should do this when i do that because that will show me this" or "she should say this i say that because that way she will make him feel like this". And it all sounds really overdone to me. Because to me, a relationship should not operate in a cause-and-effect style. It should run smoothly and simultaneously with all of its factors.
There shouldn't be rules in a relationship, there should be compromise. If he wants to pay for the food then she should say, "If you pay this time, then you have to let me pay for something next time." And he should say, "Okay. Sounds fair." At least then you'll know there will definitely be another next time
And if she wants to hang with her friends all day instead of with him, then he should say, "Only if we get a day to ourselves sometime soon." and she should say, "Okay, then."
A relationship's not supposed to be about interpreting the signs so that the other can react appropriately, cause then everything's just too...fake. You don't get shortcuts in the intruction manual. You have to learn those on your own.
Next up on the list, would be S P A C E.
All i can really say about this is: Don't be clingy. Don't be nosy. Don't be intrusve.
A lot of people who have been in a long relationship wish they could relive the first several weeks of that realtionship, when everything was so new and exciting.
When those butterflies still flittered in the stomach.
You want that feeling back? Then don't always be with your boyfriend or girlfriend. if you're constantly with that person, the feeling fades faster. but if you're not always with that person, you'll always have something to look forward to.
It's like being addicted, but healthier and without physically painful repercussions. And no withdrawal.
And space is just healthy. whn you're with someone, realize that YES-they did have a life before you came along. They had other friends, other agendas, other goals to fulfill.
Let them live. They'll appreciate you more for understanding.
And realize that space helps you remember. It helps you put you back in the situations you were in before you met that other person. And that way, you'll always know who you really are.
There is no feeling as hollow and degrading as the one when you come out of a three and a half year relationship and go "...shit, who the hell was i before this person?".
So give your partner some space. and if you need to force it on them, then do it. it's healthy. And it'll keep you wanting that other person with the same intensity as the first day you two got together.
And take some space for yourself. Hang out with your friends. have a day for yourself. Rediscover you hobbies. Write down your personal goals.
Have a Life. It's not a illegal.
Jessica Bautista wrote this, its really good.i hope you enjoyed it :]
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